Crash Read online

  “Yes, it’s nice to meet you.”

  “Thanks for suggesting this. I don’t really eat out often.”

  We sat at a cramped table and I hid behind the menu. Already knowing that this wasn’t going to work out, I decided that I was just going to enjoy a pleasant evening. You spoke to him for three seconds and you’ve already written him off?

  “What do you do?”

  The boring, stilted conversation of all first dates started forward on trembling legs. I could feel myself pulling back with every word. Drawing answers from him was like pulling teeth—it was as if he expected me to talk for the entire time.

  The tall, thin waitress appeared at my elbow and I ordered the lamb and an Ethiopian beer. Without the menu, there was no distraction. We looked at each other for a few brief seconds, then my gaze wandered over the artwork on the walls.

  A door opening brought in a blast of cold air and my teeth chattered. An insolent voice talked to the hostess, and I dragged my attention back towards Charlie.

  “What kind of movies do you like?”

  “Um—”

  A man walked along our table and stood in front of us. I waited for him to leave, perhaps he was only getting out of the way of a waitress, but he stood there. I glanced up his torso and jumped.

  It was Will.

  This time, he was dressed in a black wool sweater and dark jeans, his hair groomed back. It was amazing how handsome he looked when he put in a little effort. He gave me a pleasant smile and then looked down at Charlie with an indiscernible expression on his face. He threw down a small pile of hundred dollar bills. My eyes widened.

  “Clear off,” he barked at Charlie.

  Charlie looked vaguely offended. “What?”

  He blew air impatiently. “Just take the money and leave. Now.”

  My heart pounded as Charlie fingered the one hundred dollar bills. There were five hundred dollars there. Would he take the bribe? I would. His muddy eyes slid towards mine guiltily and I pressed my lips into a firm line.

  “Sorry.” He gathered them in his fist and stood up to leave.

  Don’t be. I was getting bored anyways.

  The dark-haired man smirked triumphantly as Charlie swept from the table. He reached out and pulled the chair back and took the other man’s place. He smiled at me as if this was the most normal thing in the world. He just threw almost my month’s rent at my date to get him to leave the table. Is this a rich people thing?

  I couldn’t believe the fucking gall of this guy.

  “You can’t just—how did you even find me?”

  He rolled his eyes at me. “Oh, please. I did you a favor. Both of you looked bored. Besides, that money was fake.”

  I choked into my glass of beer. “Are you crazy? He could get in a lot of trouble if he deposits it.”

  “Serves him right for accepting a bribe.” He waved over the waitress. “I’ll have tea.”

  What an ass. I should be a lot angrier. “Are you stalking me?” I hissed when she left with his order.

  “Nope. Just overheard things at the workplace, you know how it is.” He sighed as if he had a long day and looked at me with the hungry expression that first drew me to him. “You look beautiful, by the way.”

  I flushed with pleasure and suddenly, the restaurant was too warm. I was stunned and flattered that he tracked me down all the way to Berkeley to—what? Why was he here? My anger stumbled. “Thank you, that’s very sweet. You look great yourself.” I wanted to make a barb about his appearance the other day, but I stopped myself.

  One dark eye winked at me. “What is this place?”

  “It’s an Ethiopian restaurant.”

  Will gawked as the waitress placed a huge platter in front of us, which was covered with a flattened, round piece of bread. The entrees were dropped directly on the bread in steaming piles. There were no utensils and I could see William quietly freaking out about it.

  “What the hell—how are we supposed to eat this?”

  “You eat it with your hands.” I pointed to the bowl of rolled spongy bread. I took one and tore off a piece. Using the bread, I picked up the food and ate it. The lamb fell apart in my mouth, the rich spices making my tongue dance. It was delicious.

  He raised an eyebrow. “Strange choice for a first date.”

  “If you don’t like it, I can always call Charlie back. At least he was excited to try it.” It was strange how comfortable I felt around him. Being around Luke usually had me tongue-tied, but William was completely different. He was strange, but not exactly intimidating.

  “Not a chance,” he frowned.

  “Are you afraid to get your hands dirty?” Rich boy?

  His nostrils flared as if he smelled a challenge and promptly rolled up his sleeves. Will gave me an “I’ll show you!” expression as he grabbed a roll of bread and picked up food with a piece. He brightened the moment the food passed his lips.

  “Wow, this is really good.” Apparently, his revulsion with eating with his hands was overcome by how delicious it was. He dove back in with gusto.

  All right, enough of the niceties. “Why are you here?”

  He paused to lean in a little bit with that secret smile that I loathed, the one that could see through all my bullshit. Just looking at him made my skin burn. “I wanted to see you again. I usually get what I want.”

  “I’ll bet that you do, but I’m still not interested.” A flush crept up my neck but I didn’t look away from his narrowed eyes. His cocky attitude was wearing thin.

  Will’s tossed his head angrily and looked at me like he could hardly believe that someone so stubborn existed. “Well, I’m not interested in you, either. You’re a bit too uptight for my taste.”

  Ouch. “I’m in no mood to be bullied.”

  He saw the frown on my face and shrugged. “Hey, I’m just being honest. You turned me down in front of those people.” A sad little smile appeared at the corner of his mouth.

  I sighed and dropped my gaze, feeling guilty despite myself. “I just broke up with my fiancé of six years. I’m not over—”

  “I don’t give a crap about your ex,” he interrupted. “I don’t need to hear about it. Luke told me you broke up almost a year ago. Told me to stay away from you.” He smiled to himself. “Naturally, that just made me want to see you even more.”

  Never had I met someone so unapologetically blunt. An invisible knife sank into my ribs, puncturing my lungs of air. I was mortified by what Luke said.

  “He said that? Why?” A ripple of anger went through me. What, am I so pathetic that I can’t handle a guy like him? Do they think for one second that I don’t know what he wants from me? “Maybe he wanted to protect me from you. He thinks you’ll hurt me.”

  “Maybe he doesn’t want a rift forming between his girlfriend and her best friend. Maybe he thinks it’ll create problems between them both. I don’t know and I don’t care.”

  What could I say to that? I stammered as I looked at the table. “Why the hell did you come here?”

  “I might have an opening in my department for a talented graphic designer.” He winked at me.

  A job offering? That’s why he came all the way here? That made me deflate a little. I thought that there would be a more romantic reason.

  “Oh,” I said.

  “Oh? That’s it? I represent a multi-billion dollar company and that’s all you have to say?”

  Well, I was a little disappointed that I completely misread the reason why he drove all the way to the East Bay. He was oddly contained, as if he laughed inwardly from a private joke.

  Is he fucking with me?

  “I just thought that…” I blushed and didn’t finish the sentence under his intense stare. “It’s a bit strange to drive all the way here just to talk about a job. On a Saturday. You could have emailed me.”

  “There are a lot of Natalie Porters on LinkedIn,” he said gruffly. “And I’m impulsive.”

  It was strange that I felt so upset that he changed
his mind about me. What is it about me that is so horrible? My mother would be able to tell me in a few seconds flat. I felt an incredible urge to look into his eyes and ask him. He would tell me, but did I want to hear the answer? At least there was a silver lining in all of this. Working for Pardini Worldwide would be an incredible opportunity for me. I couldn’t pass it up, no matter how weird William was.

  “Well, what’s the job?”

  “Ah-ah,” he tutted. “Not yet. I want to get to know you first.”

  Taken aback, I leaned into my chair. “Okay. What do you want to know?”

  “Do you get drunk often?”

  My mouth hung open. “That isn’t any of—” I stopped as he gave me a sharp look. “I don’t get drunk. That ended in my sophomore year of college. I’ll have a beer or a glass of wine occasionally.”

  He nodded approvingly. “How do you feel about cats?”

  “Cats? Um, they’re okay, I guess?”

  “Don’t answer a question with a question,” he barked.

  “They’re nice,” I said with a bit of an edge.

  “Tell me about a difficult person you interacted with.”

  You. I glared at him, and then realized I probably should look friendlier to my potential boss. “Well, there was this one guy at work who—”

  “—Never mind. I hate boring questions. What do you do on weekends?”

  Nothing. A stinging feeling dug into my brain. I was tired of being interrupted. “I hang out with my friends, I see movies, go shopping.”

  Will was looking more and more bored with my answers. “Why?”

  “Why what?” He’s starting to piss me off.

  “Why do you want this position?”

  I gave a frustrated laugh. “How am I supposed to answer that when I don’t even know what the job is?”

  Will glanced up coolly. “You’re supposed to kiss my ass and tell me how wonderful my company is.”

  “Do you want ass-kissers to work for you?”

  He raised an eyebrow. “No. Good point.”

  I sighed.

  “What would you do if your head of department screamed at you in the hallway?”

  “Probably nothing,” I murmured without thinking. Gathering from Will’s extremely shocked expression, I realized I said the wrong thing. “Well, uh—obviously, that’s a really unprofessional thing to—”

  “Wow, that says a lot about you,” he chuckled.

  Heat flushed my face. This was really unfair. He gave me no time to prepare. “You really blind-sided me with this interview. I don’t know what you expected. I don’t even know what the job is!” I slammed my fist on the table, making our glasses rattle.

  He coughed. “I guess that answers that for how easily you can be provoked.”

  I simmered as he gave me another grin. This couldn’t possibly be real.

  “I’m getting the feeling that this entire thing is your idea of a sick joke.” I threw my napkin on the table and grabbed my purse, feeling close to tears as I got up and stormed out of the restaurant.

  Everyone’s always laughing at me—I won’t take it anymore. I won’t deal with this. All I wanted was to eat my meal in peace, to have a nice evening with him.

  Half-crying, I walked forward blindly on the rain-soaked streets, not caring where the hell I was going.

  “Hey!”

  Heavy footsteps jogged next to me and I didn’t need to look to see who it was.

  “Natalie, hold on for a second!”

  Rough fingers encircled my arm and stopped my rapid escape to my car. William stood under a streetlight, his normally handsome features harsh under the glare.

  “What?”

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to insult you. This definitely isn’t a joke.” He spoke in a slow, clear voice. “I have an unorthodox way of interviewing people to see if they’ll be a good fit. It was just a stress interview.”

  I nodded and pressed my lips firmly together. Suddenly, I felt a lump in my throat and my eyes were stinging. Well, I guess I failed his test spectacularly.

  “Ah, shit. Don’t be upset.”

  I heard him lean forward and then his fingers were at my throat, sweeping upward until they gently clasped my chin and tilted it up. My first instinct was to pull away, to shout, because it was such an invasion of my boundaries. Instead, I melted into his hand. The need to be touched overwhelmed my pride. I couldn’t look at him because I knew I would see pity in his eyes and that would be enough to shove me over the edge.

  Dark, self-critical thoughts raged inside me, most of them with the voices of my parents. You’ll never find someone.

  “I’m really sorry. Please don’t be upset.”

  Don’t let go of me. I shook my head. My face felt like it was about to burst. “It’s not you. I’m just having a hard time.” I’m just lonely as hell and overly emotional these days.

  “Natalie,” he began in a gentle voice. “You’ll get over this. I promise.”

  I finally looked at him, my hands clinging to his hands, which were still wrapped around my face. His gaze was warm and I knew that he felt for me; he understood the darkness swirling inside my head and knew that it wasn’t about him. I choked a bit from the strength blazing in his eyes and a single tear rolled down my face, but his thumb caught it and stroked my cheek, almost as if he adored me.

  No, he was just being kind to the strange, sad girl he had been interested in.

  “Take care of yourself.”

  His body heat left me abruptly as he backed away, his hands dropping from my face. I couldn’t even utter a goodbye. I just stared at this magnificent, strange man and I felt my heart ripped out when he turned around and walked away.

  Wait! COME BACK!

  My body screamed for him. I felt myself shaking in the cold with the absence of his heat, but I lacked the courage to run after him.

  Chapter 3

  Natalie,

  I’ve been thinking about you these last few weeks. I still can’t believe it’s been eight months since—

  The lid of my laptop snapped shut before I read the rest of the email. I hunched over my desk and bit my nails into my palms.

  Ben reached out to me. I couldn’t believe it. At first, I felt a wild happiness, but a tidal wave of nerves quickly drowned it. I’m just starting to move on. I flicked away a crumb from my desk. Then came the rage. He decides to email me now? After he’s dated how many women?

  I didn’t want to read the rest of it. Not yet.

  Laughter sounded from the living room. A pair of voices talked loudly as they walked into our apartment. They must be back from dinner.

  Resigning myself to an evening of watching Luke and Jessica fawn over each other, I got up from my chair and joined them.

  “Hey!”

  Jessica’s blonde ponytail whipped around. Luke stood in the kitchen, uncorking some wine. I always wondered what he thought when he visited our apartment. I wondered if he couldn’t wait to get away. To return to his mansion. Maybe he found our peasant life charming.

  “Hello, Luke.”

  “How was your date?” Jessica grinned at me.

  Let me see. After I calmed down, I realized how embarrassing it had been. It was a complete disaster. A date with a stranger turned into an interview with Will, and somehow I had a complete meltdown. I burst into laughter as I thought of Charlie pounding the ATM machine when it spat back the counterfeit bills.

  “Um, well—the date was interrupted by Will.”

  “Will who?”

  “Your cousin.”

  Luke’s face darkened. “What?”

  “He showed up and paid Charlie to leave the table.” Another burst of laughter left my throat at both of their expressions. I summoned the energy to walk to the kitchen table and clutched one of the chairs, weakened by laughter. Even the fact that I left the date in tears seemed kind of hilarious.

  Jessica made a wordless “wow,” but Luke looked like his temple was about to explode.

  “I don�
�t know how he found me,” I shrugged, looking at Luke pointedly.

  For a moment I thought he was going to smash the wine bottle. “I’m sorry, Natalie,” he apologized, red-faced. “He kept hassling me for your number at work and I told him you were going on a date with someone else.”

  The fact that he had the nerve to harass Luke at work made me smile. “Don’t apologize,” I said, sobering immediately. “It wasn’t so bad.”

  I didn’t tell them about the job offer or the interview. I wanted to take that secret to my grave, but I couldn’t forget how he made me feel, how he seemed to understand what I was going through.

  “He seems like a really nice person. Sort of.”

  But Luke was shaking his head, looking furious with himself. “Natalie, there are a lot of things you don’t know about him. He’s not a nice guy. He’s a huge mess. A couple years ago, he—” He colored and suddenly fell silent.

  “He what?” I prompted.

  “I really shouldn’t say. It’s not for me to tell you. But, just believe me—he has a host of issues that you really don’t want to deal with.”

  My lungs froze. What did it matter, really? I’ll probably never see him again. I scared him off. The thought that Will was somehow harboring a terrible secret made me feel intrigued instead of cautious.

  I sat down at the kitchen table, Luke avoiding my eyes.

  “So?” Jessica said aggressively. “I had—still have—a ton of issues myself. Why shouldn’t she give him a chance?”

  Our eyes met and I felt a rush of affection for my friend. That’s true.

  His eyes darted to the women united against him. A nervous chuckle left his mouth, knowing he was overruled. “Don’t—it’s not the same at all.”

  But his girlfriend wasn’t going to let him off that easily. “How is it not the same?”

  A pin could have dropped in the kitchen and I would have heard it clearly. Luke’s mouth faltered.

  “I can’t. It’s not my place. I’m sure he’ll tell you eventually.”

  Well, now I just have to know.

  “And when he does, Natalie can decide for herself if she wants to date him.”

  Feeling bad for Luke, I leaned over and patted his shoulder. “I’m sure Luke just thinks he’s trying to help. Anyway, don’t worry about it. It didn’t really end well so I doubt I’ll see him again.”